Sunday, February 11, 2018

No More Suffering in Silence

I've been sitting on this post for months now. Trying to find the right words, the right way to say what I want to say. I've been struggling through a lot of stress for many different reasons, but the greatest stress directly relates to my sweet Lennon.

I'm just going to come right out and say it. Lennon had a seizure. I've had an immense amount of PTSD ever since. I have been unable to sleep the same way or even go through the day without worrying. I'll start from the beginning.

As most of you know, we moved across the country from April to June. The Mr. had to leave earlier to start his new job and Lennon and I stayed behind because I had to finish my school year. Well, Lennon got sick in May. I'm talking flu sick. Throwing up, high fever, just miserable. I took her to the doctor and she seemed to get better. That was just the beginning of a month long battle of fevers. When they started happening, I wasn't too concerned. They were getting as high as 102-103, but the doctor said to bring her in if it got to 105. It never did.

The school year ended, and we started to pack up our life. The movers came and we went to stay with one of my friends. We were headed up to our co-workers cabin to spend some quality time before it was time to go for good. When we got up there, Lennon had a low grade fever, 99 something. I went to the local store and got some children's tylenol. The fever went down. The next day, she seemed fine. Not quite as hungry, but acting like her normal self.

Well as the night progressed, so did her fever. She refused to go to sleep and I got so frustrated. We were up super late trying to get her fever down, luke warm baths, cool compresses, sleeping in just a onesie, but to no avail. She finally went to sleep, but then woke at 3:00am. Her fever had spiked to almost 104 and she let out a terrible scream. She made a sound like she was going to throw up and started to seize.

Reliving that moment in words is just something that I cannot do, so you can imagine it in your minds. I'm sobbing just writing this post.

I called 911 and it seemed like the longest 5 minutes of my life. All of my co-workers surrounded us and were my rocks. I couldn't have survived that moment without them. Her seizure lasted about 30 seconds, but she became unresponsive afterwards, which I learned later on is completely normal. In that moment, though, I was terrified. The first responders arrived and she came to. We got in the ambulance and rode to the hospital. I still have no clue what caused her to have such a high fever. They tested her for the flu and strep, both were negative. They said it was likely a virus.

The kind of seizure was a Febrile Seizure and is actually quite common. According to Mayo Clinic, "A febrile seizure is a convulsion in a child that may be caused by a spike in body temperature, often from an infection." It doesn't matter how high the fever gets, it's how fast it gets there. Lennon's fever spiked so fast that it was almost inevitable. 

The kind EMT gentleman gave me some amazing tips, because his son had previously had Febrile Seizures. He suggested that I ALWAYS have a temporal thermometer, children's Tylenol, and children's Motrin on hand. As soon as we left the hospital, we went straight to walmart and I put together a fever care pack to have with us at all times. 

I've become quite obsessive about checking Lennon's temperature, she actually knows how to do it herself now. As soon as she exhibits a fever, I start alternating Motrin and Tylenol. This flu season has got me on edge and on alert. We have been taking Elderberry Syrup every day to try and avoid getting sick. We all had colds this last week and I will tell you that I bawled my eyes out when Lennon got a low grade fever. We are trying to manage, but I don't think the stress will ever fade away entirely. 

I write this post, not for pity, but to speak the unspoken. People are so afraid to talk about things, but in reality it actually helps to process and heal to TALK to others! It helped me when I had a miscarriage, because I am 1 in 4 and I am not ashamed of that! It helped after Lennon had a seizure. Just by talking to my friends, I realized that some of their kids, or even themselves, had Febrile Seizures. We need to not be afraid of speaking out. More often than not, someone else is going through the same thing and just wants somebody to talk to. Join together, be supportive, talk to one another!

Lastly, I want to thank my friend Jen who was there for me in the hospital when I had my miscarriage and who drove behind the ambulance when Lennon had her seizure. I am so grateful for her friendship and unwavering support. We all need friends who will stick by you through the awful things that you sometimes go through in life. 

Let’s not suffer in silence any longer! 

Until next time, 

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