Lennon {4 Months}

I cannot believe that she is already 4 months old! Time is going by way too quickly and I've only got one more month of my maternity leave. Just thinking about having to leave her brings tears to my eyes.

Anyways...

On to happier things! We went to her 4 month check up yesterday and her doctor said she looks amazing! So grateful that she is growing and healthy.

Height: 24.5 inches

Weight: 13 lbs 13 oz. 

Eating: She is still exclusively eating breastmilk. She seems to be starting to become more aware of food as she watches me eat. I'm going to take her cues on when to start introducing different foods into her diet. I don't think she's quite ready for that yet. 

Sleep: Lennon has this sleeping thing down pat {except for napping throughout the day}. She's been sleeping from 8:30pm to about 4:00am {and sometimes 5:00am} and then again until around 8:00am.  

Milestones: Lennon has rolled over from tummy to back and is working on rolling from back to tummy {she's almost there!}. She LOVES to giggle and be tickled. She is super talkative {sometimes in the most quiet of places}. If I hand her a toy she is able to grab it with both hands and bring it to her mouth. She is also starting to recognize her grandma, grandma and grandpa. 

Likes: Mommy, Daddy, Ziggy, talking, kicking, standing, giggling, smiling, tummy time {for a little while}, playing on her play mat, exploring with mommy and daddy, going to her swim lessons, and traveling. 

Dislikes: She still doesn't really dislike much. She doesn't like laying down, she would much rather be standing or sitting up. 

Personality: Lennon is still THE happiest baby. She loves to giggle, smile and hang out. She has got to be the most mellow little on that I've ever met. Even after her shots {she cried for a moment} she was kicking up a storm and talking to me. 

Nicknames: Lenni Bear, Pretty girl, Pretty Princess. I've been trying to call her by her name more so that she is able to recognize it and doesn't get too confused. She is starting to look at you when you say her name or any of her nicknames. Smart little cookie! 

The way that Ziggy is with her, melts my heart. He is so gentle and loves to give her kisses. 

That's all I've got for today! 

Until next time! 

The Storm {Part 1}

Sorry that I've been so absent lately. I haven't been feeling too inspired and have been super busy hanging out with Lennon. My days are numbered until I go back to work and I'm trying to soak up every moment with her. 

Today, I thought I would go back to the reason that I started this blog in the first place: my molar pregnancy. I never told the entire story about what happened and feel like I am ready to get it all off my chest and let it go for good. 

It was October 7,  2014 when I took a test. After waiting nearly seconds, it turned positive. It was REALLY positive. I took another test and it was positive too. Over the next couple days I took approximately 5 more tests, you know, just to be sure. And you guessed it, they were all positive. Then I finally got the courage to tell the Mr. and he was excited, which helped me to get more excited too. We were going to have a baby! 

I went to my family doctor to confirm that I was in fact pregnant because it seems that I just didn't believe it. They gave me a list of some OB/GYN's in the area. I hadn't been to a proper OB out here so I had no idea where to start. I did a lot of research to find the best one. I searched through every doctor website there was. I needed it to be a good fit as this person was going to help us through our pregnancy. We scheduled an appointment to confirm the due date {and hopefully see the heartbeat} when I would be 8 weeks. A day later I received a call from the doctor himself to talk about my asthma medication and how it would affect my pregnancy. He was very reassuring which made me feel like I had made the right decision in choosing him. 

I felt like time was standing still. 
We were just so excited and could not wait to tell our families. We let them know the good news so incredibly early because I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I also told some of my friends. We had a whole army {it seemed} excited with us. 

The time came, November 11, 2014, for our doctor's appointment. We arrived early to fill out new patient paperwork and then the nurse brought us back to the room. I remember the entire experience like it was yesterday. We waited for what seemed like ever. Finally, the doctor came in and asked a bunch of questions about my health and my asthma. I answered excitedly because I just wanted to be able to see {and hear our baby}. He left the room for a short period so I could prepare myself for the ultrasound. I remember giving the Mr. my phone to take pictures and videos when we could here the heartbeat. Little did I know what was coming. 

The doctor stepped back in and we got started. He started to search and found where the baby would be. The first words out of his mouth were "this looks like a miscarriage". He said it as if I had just ordered a coffee at Starbucks and the barista asked me if I wanted a miscarriage with that? So nonchalant, like it was no big deal.  Not exactly the words I was expecting, nor was I expecting it to be so harsh. I was in absolute shock. It just didn't make sense. He measured the "baby" and it was definitely measuring behind and did not have a heartbeat. I was devastated, but still didn't know what to think. 

The minute that he left the room, I completely broke down in sobs. I couldn't get it together, even though I knew I had to. We stepped out of the room and I went to get my labs drawn, all while still crying. I saw so many happily pregnant people walking around. I felt so defeated. 

The Mr. didn't know what to say or how to even comfort me. In those moments, I was inconsolable. 

They scheduled us an appointment to come back in two weeks, just to confirm that it was truly a miscarriage. Then they let us leave, just like that. No explanations for anything. We were completely in the dark. 

After we left, we went to get lunch and I remember just being so numb that I could barely eat anything. I nibbled at my chicken noodle soup and felt like the world around me was moving on, but I was stuck and time was standing still. 

I needed answers, so I began my search. 

Tune in next week Thursday for The Storm {Part 2}. 

Until next time!

Lennon {3 Months}

Soooo, Lennon is technically going to be 4 months of Friday {oops}. I realized that I never posted her 3 month update, so figured I should probably post that before I post her 4 month update. This is going to be a short, quick post, but I hope you all enjoy her little smile. It sure brightens my day!

Height: 23.5 inches {I wrote it wrong in the picture}

Weight: Around 12 lbs. We don't have a very accurate scale that tells us ounces. 

Eating: She is still only eating breastmilk and due to being on vacation I had to stop pumping, so she is exclusively on the boob. 

Sleep: We put her to bed around 8:30 and have our bedtime routine down pat. We either take a bath {only twice a week} or just go straight to lotion and PJ's. Then we read two books, eat, and sleep. She is a sleeping champ. Right now she's sleep from 8:30-4ish and sometimes until 5, then sleeping until 8ish. 

Milestones: Lennon has started to giggle and let me tell you, it melts my heart every single time. She went for her first airplane ride and she was such a good girl! She's in swimming lessons and seems to love it. She does not like to lay down, instead wants to stand all the time. When we were in Wisconsin, she met a bunch of her friends!

Likes: Mommy, Daddy, Ziggy, kicking, standing, giggling, talking, finding her voice, smiling, tummy time {for a little while},  going on adventures in Wisconsin, cooler weather {in WI} so we can be outside, hanging out with her Great-Grandpa and the rest of Mommy's family. 

Dislikes: She still doesn't dislike much, except for laying down when she's awake. 

Personality: Lennon is so mellow and smiley all the time. She hardly ever cries. She loves to smile when you smile at her and is giggling up a storm. 

Nicknames: Lenni Bear, Pretty girl, Pretty Princess

Until next time!