Tuesday, July 25, 2017

The Rainbow {Part 2}

On Sunday, May 29 {40 weeks, 5 days to be exact}, I decided I didn't like the diaper bag that I had purchased so we went back to the mall. At this point, I was completely waddling and starting to feel some tightening in my belly. I also thought my water was starting to trickle, but I had never been through any of this before so I had no idea. On the way back from the mall, I knew that I was starting to have contractions that were about 7 minutes about, but they didn't hurt at all. I just dismissed them and then got an urge to go grocery shopping so we were all stocked up.

We got home and I made a big feast of green chile enchiladas. I must have been crazy. We ate and then we slept {but not for long}. I got up around 11:00 and went to the bathroom and WOOOSH. There it went. My water broke. What an experience that was. It certainly doesn't happen like it does in the movies. I woke up the Mr. and off to the hospital we went. It took us about 20 minutes to get there and I was having contractions {that still didn't really hurt} that were 5 minutes apart.

We checked in and they told us to go to triage so they could monitor me. We got up to the labor and delivery floor and the nurse immediately took us to our room because it was obvious my water had broken. Throughout the night, I continued to have mild contractions and was able to get some rest. I woke up around 4:30-5:00 and they had started to get more intense. I wanted to do this all natural so I labored through the contractions while walking around the room. I was able to walk freely and not be connected to the monitors constantly. I was not progressing very quickly. They checked and I had only dilated 3 centimeters. For real.

At that point, I was able to get into the labor tub and it was sweet, instant relief. I didn't stay in there long {but looking back I have no idea why}. The contractions continued to get worse and worse. They started coupling, one happening right after the other. I was not getting any breaks. Lennon was posterior, which was the reason for my horrendous back labor and the consistent contractions. My doctor made me do this crazy, painful maneuver to try to get Lennon to flip over. To no avail. At one point throughout the day, the nurse suggested I get some Stadol for the pain {because I didn't want an epidural} and that was the trippiest ride I have ever been on. It seriously felt like I was flying through space like Peter Pan. So weird.

I labored in so many different positions, with absolutely no relief in any of them. My mom was pushing on my tailbone and the Mr. was squeezing my hips. Even that didn't provide relief. I started to black out from the pain and knew that I had to give up on my natural birth. I felt so defeated. I even apologized to my doctor because he was so encouraging throughout everything. He kept telling me I could do it, that I was strong, that I did Yoga and that helped me. But I couldn't. I let him down and myself.

Let me tell you though, that epidural. Was. Life. Saving. I honestly don't think I could have continued on or pushed without it. I was able to sleep and rest and I so needed that to be mentally and physically ready to go through the end of labor.

The rest of the night was breeze. I had an extremely pleasant experience. Around 7:30 p.m. {20 and a half hours of labor later} they checked and I was fully dilated. It was time. The nurses were amazing. We carried on good conversation in between pushes. I felt no pain. It was smooth. And at 9:21 p.m. we met our beautiful, precious Lennon Claire. Ten fingers, ten toes. 19 inches of squishy baby goodness. We immediately fell in love. I would endure all of that pain over and over again just to be able to have her in our arms. All was right in our world. She is PERFECT. Our little Rainbow. 

Until next time! 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The Rainbow {Part 1}

I've been feeling much more inspired lately and figured that I should probably write a post about Lennon's birth before I can no longer remember.

A few months ago I wrote a two-part story of "The Storm" and now I will write about our beautiful Rainbow. Because after all there is a Rainbow after every storm.

When we were cleared to try to conceive again, I went a little crazy. I wanted it so badly. I wanted a baby. I wanted what I wasn't able to have the year before. I wanted what so many of my friends were able to have. I wanted it so badly that it just wasn't happening. I was using apps to track my cycle and temping to see when I was ovulating. I was convinced that I no longer was ovulating so I kept going back to my doctor. My doctor had started to become more like therapy for me. She helped me more than anyone else was able to.

Then one day, I just stopped. I stopped charting. I stopped temping. I stopped all the madness and just let go. It seemed that I finally was getting over the traumatic experience that the entire year prior was in my life. I felt free of my grief for the first time in so long. That's when it happened.

The Mr. and I decided to get away. We went to our favorite city, San Diego, for a weekend and just had fun. We let loose and did whatever we wanted. I just knew. I know that sounds crazy, but I just knew we had conceived that weekend. I got this feeling that this was it. Then on our way home we drove through a storm and saw 5 rainbows. DROVE THROUGH A STORM AND SAW 5 RAINBOWS. If that's not a sign from above, then I don't know what is. The next weekend we went camping and on our way home we saw another rainbow. I didn't even need to take a test, in my gut, I knew. I knew before we even left San Diego.

We were pregnant.

Obviously I did take a test, just to confirm it for The Mr., and sure enough.. a very positive line staring us in the face. Due to our experience the past year, neither one of us allowed ourselves to get excited. We knew that anything could happen at anytime. I think we both tried not to get too attached to the idea that this could really happen, that we could end this pregnancy with a baby.

Through the next couple weeks we waited. We waited for appointments and ultrasounds and tests {we were able to have more of everything because of our past}. We waited to tell anyone. Then we saw it. The heart was beating. There was a baby. How amazing that moment was. I knew that the hard part was not over, but I knew that was our baby.

The months went by, my belly got bigger, but I was still cautiously trying not to get my hopes up. Even though I felt her kicking and moving all around in my belly, I tried not to get too attached. Yes, I was excited, but it was hard to think past the current day I was in. "Today I am pregnant" was my mantra throughout the entire pregnancy.

Once we got to the end of the pregnancy, things became a little more difficult. Doctor's visits became more frequent and my blood pressure started elevating. It was the end of the school year and I was stressed. Not only because I'm a teacher, but because I was aching and not sleeping. My blood pressure got so high one visit that my doctor sent me to the hospital to be monitored for Pre-eclampsia. Thank goodness all of the tests were negative and they sent me on my way. Unfortunately, my blood pressure was still all over the charts. Some days it was normal, some days it was high.

They continued to monitor me through the rest of my pregnancy. I made it to my due date and I went to my 40 week check up. All looked well, but I was not dilated at all. My blood pressure was amazingly in the normal range. I was in and out of my appointment in the blink of an eye and they scheduled me for another appointment that Friday.

Fast forward 4 days later and I went to {what happened to be to my last} appointment. Well.. wouldn't you know, my blood pressure was through the roof. They scheduled another appointment for the following Tuesday {if I didn't go into labor naturally before then} and back to the hospital I went for them to monitor my blood pressure... again. Guess what, blood pressure was normal as soon as they started checking it. I was off the hook for another couple days, so my mom and I went shopping. I bought a diaper bag from Kate Spade, because Kate Spade, duh, plus I only had two and that was not near enough. Well...

Until next time!