Starting Over

As most of you know {if you follow along on my Instagram}, we recently relocated to a new state. This was a long, hard, terrifying, happy, stressful decision that we had to make, but ultimately we think it's what was best for us and our little family.

This decision affected many things in our lives. We both had to leave our jobs {which we loved} and our home that we created, the one in which we brought Lennon home too. Flashback 4.5 years and I didn't even want to buy a house because that meant that we were more permanent there. Now, I didn't even want to leave it. There were so many emotions that came with all of this. You name the emotion, we probably felt it. We had to spend 2 months apart from each other. The Mr. started his new job and I had to finish my old one.

I decided to write this post because I'm closing in on the end of summer and having to start my new position and I have a lot of anxiety about that.

To start, my previous job was the best. I got soooo incredibly lucky when I was offered my position the day I graduated. I started a couple weeks later and instantly felt like I was "home". Not only were my co-workers amazing, but they grew to be an extended "family". You can ask any one of them and that's what they will say. We were, are, family. We had each other's backs throughout each day and worked together as a well oiled machine. Yes, my job had it's ups and downs {hello super high SPED caseload}, but the people made it all worthwhile. I hope they all know how much I appreciate them and miss them so dearly.

All of that being said, you can see why it was such a tough decision to leave.

When looking for a new job, I went into each interview with a mindset of finding the same kind of environment, boss, and people as my old school. I got 3 job offers and had to choose. I knew from the first minute of my interview with the school that I chose that it was it. Thankfully, they offered me the position.

As my start date approaches, I have increasing anxiety, which I'm sure goes along with any new job. However, I have anxiety about liking my co-workers as much as my "family" at my old school. I have anxiety about liking my boss as much as my boss and "friend" at my old school. I have anxiety about comparing everything to my old school.

I hope this subsides and that I learn to love my new school. I have a fear of the unknown and I like to be in control. Both of which are happening right now. I'll update as this new school year unfolds. Crossing my fingers for great new beginnings!

Update: Sooo I wrote this post several weeks ago before I started my new job. Then.. life got in the way and I never got around to posting it. I'm happy to update that I am 3 weeks into work and so far so good. It's definitely not my old school, but it definitely has some similarities and for that I am very thankful. Everyone has welcomed me in with open arms and I'm starting to finally find my rhythm.

Until next time!

The Rainbow {Part 2}

On Sunday, May 29 {40 weeks, 5 days to be exact}, I decided I didn't like the diaper bag that I had purchased so we went back to the mall. At this point, I was completely waddling and starting to feel some tightening in my belly. I also thought my water was starting to trickle, but I had never been through any of this before so I had no idea. On the way back from the mall, I knew that I was starting to have contractions that were about 7 minutes about, but they didn't hurt at all. I just dismissed them and then got an urge to go grocery shopping so we were all stocked up.

We got home and I made a big feast of green chile enchiladas. I must have been crazy. We ate and then we slept {but not for long}. I got up around 11:00 and went to the bathroom and WOOOSH. There it went. My water broke. What an experience that was. It certainly doesn't happen like it does in the movies. I woke up the Mr. and off to the hospital we went. It took us about 20 minutes to get there and I was having contractions {that still didn't really hurt} that were 5 minutes apart.

We checked in and they told us to go to triage so they could monitor me. We got up to the labor and delivery floor and the nurse immediately took us to our room because it was obvious my water had broken. Throughout the night, I continued to have mild contractions and was able to get some rest. I woke up around 4:30-5:00 and they had started to get more intense. I wanted to do this all natural so I labored through the contractions while walking around the room. I was able to walk freely and not be connected to the monitors constantly. I was not progressing very quickly. They checked and I had only dilated 3 centimeters. For real.

At that point, I was able to get into the labor tub and it was sweet, instant relief. I didn't stay in there long {but looking back I have no idea why}. The contractions continued to get worse and worse. They started coupling, one happening right after the other. I was not getting any breaks. Lennon was posterior, which was the reason for my horrendous back labor and the consistent contractions. My doctor made me do this crazy, painful maneuver to try to get Lennon to flip over. To no avail. At one point throughout the day, the nurse suggested I get some Stadol for the pain {because I didn't want an epidural} and that was the trippiest ride I have ever been on. It seriously felt like I was flying through space like Peter Pan. So weird.

I labored in so many different positions, with absolutely no relief in any of them. My mom was pushing on my tailbone and the Mr. was squeezing my hips. Even that didn't provide relief. I started to black out from the pain and knew that I had to give up on my natural birth. I felt so defeated. I even apologized to my doctor because he was so encouraging throughout everything. He kept telling me I could do it, that I was strong, that I did Yoga and that helped me. But I couldn't. I let him down and myself.

Let me tell you though, that epidural. Was. Life. Saving. I honestly don't think I could have continued on or pushed without it. I was able to sleep and rest and I so needed that to be mentally and physically ready to go through the end of labor.

The rest of the night was breeze. I had an extremely pleasant experience. Around 7:30 p.m. {20 and a half hours of labor later} they checked and I was fully dilated. It was time. The nurses were amazing. We carried on good conversation in between pushes. I felt no pain. It was smooth. And at 9:21 p.m. we met our beautiful, precious Lennon Claire. Ten fingers, ten toes. 19 inches of squishy baby goodness. We immediately fell in love. I would endure all of that pain over and over again just to be able to have her in our arms. All was right in our world. She is PERFECT. Our little Rainbow. 

Until next time! 

The Rainbow {Part 1}

I've been feeling much more inspired lately and figured that I should probably write a post about Lennon's birth before I can no longer remember.

A few months ago I wrote a two-part story of "The Storm" and now I will write about our beautiful Rainbow. Because after all there is a Rainbow after every storm.

When we were cleared to try to conceive again, I went a little crazy. I wanted it so badly. I wanted a baby. I wanted what I wasn't able to have the year before. I wanted what so many of my friends were able to have. I wanted it so badly that it just wasn't happening. I was using apps to track my cycle and temping to see when I was ovulating. I was convinced that I no longer was ovulating so I kept going back to my doctor. My doctor had started to become more like therapy for me. She helped me more than anyone else was able to.

Then one day, I just stopped. I stopped charting. I stopped temping. I stopped all the madness and just let go. It seemed that I finally was getting over the traumatic experience that the entire year prior was in my life. I felt free of my grief for the first time in so long. That's when it happened.

The Mr. and I decided to get away. We went to our favorite city, San Diego, for a weekend and just had fun. We let loose and did whatever we wanted. I just knew. I know that sounds crazy, but I just knew we had conceived that weekend. I got this feeling that this was it. Then on our way home we drove through a storm and saw 5 rainbows. DROVE THROUGH A STORM AND SAW 5 RAINBOWS. If that's not a sign from above, then I don't know what is. The next weekend we went camping and on our way home we saw another rainbow. I didn't even need to take a test, in my gut, I knew. I knew before we even left San Diego.

We were pregnant.

Obviously I did take a test, just to confirm it for The Mr., and sure enough.. a very positive line staring us in the face. Due to our experience the past year, neither one of us allowed ourselves to get excited. We knew that anything could happen at anytime. I think we both tried not to get too attached to the idea that this could really happen, that we could end this pregnancy with a baby.

Through the next couple weeks we waited. We waited for appointments and ultrasounds and tests {we were able to have more of everything because of our past}. We waited to tell anyone. Then we saw it. The heart was beating. There was a baby. How amazing that moment was. I knew that the hard part was not over, but I knew that was our baby.

The months went by, my belly got bigger, but I was still cautiously trying not to get my hopes up. Even though I felt her kicking and moving all around in my belly, I tried not to get too attached. Yes, I was excited, but it was hard to think past the current day I was in. "Today I am pregnant" was my mantra throughout the entire pregnancy.

Once we got to the end of the pregnancy, things became a little more difficult. Doctor's visits became more frequent and my blood pressure started elevating. It was the end of the school year and I was stressed. Not only because I'm a teacher, but because I was aching and not sleeping. My blood pressure got so high one visit that my doctor sent me to the hospital to be monitored for Pre-eclampsia. Thank goodness all of the tests were negative and they sent me on my way. Unfortunately, my blood pressure was still all over the charts. Some days it was normal, some days it was high.

They continued to monitor me through the rest of my pregnancy. I made it to my due date and I went to my 40 week check up. All looked well, but I was not dilated at all. My blood pressure was amazingly in the normal range. I was in and out of my appointment in the blink of an eye and they scheduled me for another appointment that Friday.

Fast forward 4 days later and I went to {what happened to be to my last} appointment. Well.. wouldn't you know, my blood pressure was through the roof. They scheduled another appointment for the following Tuesday {if I didn't go into labor naturally before then} and back to the hospital I went for them to monitor my blood pressure... again. Guess what, blood pressure was normal as soon as they started checking it. I was off the hook for another couple days, so my mom and I went shopping. I bought a diaper bag from Kate Spade, because Kate Spade, duh, plus I only had two and that was not near enough. Well...

Until next time!

Lennon {9 Months)

Here we are 9 months into our precious Lennon's life and only 3 months away from her first birthday. I just can't believe how fast this time is going. I want to go back to those days in the hospital where she was fresh and new and smelled so good. But at the same time, I love watching her grow and learn. She has changed so much in the last couple of months, it is unbelievable.

Height: 27.25 inces

Weight: 16 lbs, 11 ounces. I know her last update said 16.9, but that was a total guesstimate and obviously was wrong! I think I need to get a new scale! 

Eating: Now that we have allowed Lennon the control to feed herself, she will eat practically anything that you put in front of her. She LOVES avocado and yogurt. She has tried meatballs, peanut butter on toast, scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, peas, green beans, zucchini, carrots, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, and so on and so forth. I would be here all day listing all of the foods. The girl can eat. 

Sleep: She has been sleeping in the Pack 'N Play now for about a month and a half and it seems to be going well. I plan to try and transition her to her crib in her own room when she turns 1 {we'll see if I'm emotionally ready for that when the time comes}. Right now, I still like having her close. 

Milestones: We have a little crawler! It seems that it just clicked one day last week and bam, she's crawling everywhere. Her poor knees need to build some callouses. She has also now said "MAMA" and I'm pretty sure I've heard her say Hi before as well. She is also pulling to stand and trying to move around once she's standing. 

Likes:  Mommy, Daddy, Ziggy, swinging on a swing, talking, kicking, standing, giggling, smiling, exploring with mommy and daddy, and traveling. She LOVES bunnies, she is always pointing to them in books and picked one out at Build-a-Bear a couple months ago. 

Dislikes: There's not really anything that she dislikes right now. 

Personality: Her personality is starting to bloom! Her mellowness is still her baselayer, but she's definitely a little goof. 

Nicknames: Lenni Bear, Pretty girl, Pretty Princess, Lenni Loo. 

Until next time! 

Lennon {8 Months}

Finally caught up! Now, I just need to keep up with my posting. I'm truly going to make a valid effort to blog more often from now on. I've got some good posts floating around in my head and a lot of interesting things are happening in the next couple months!

Height: 26.25 inches

Weight: She was around 16 lbs 9 oz. 

Eating: So we've decided to go full on Baby Led Weaning. Lennon just wouldn't eat off a spoon and then I tried pureed peas one day {my goodness, they are terrible} and I hated them. If I can't even stomach them, why am I feeding those foods to my baby? She now is eating whatever we eat and it is going so well. She LOVES food now. 

Sleep: Well, I attempted to transition her to a Pack 'n Play one night and it did not go well. So back to the Rock 'n Play we went. I did some research and bought a sheet for the Pack 'N Play. I elevated it where her head would be and put a rolled up towel under the sheet around where her body will go and voila! We transitioned seamlessly now! 

Milestones: This month was rough with teething, but Lennon now has 2 bottom teeth. They are so cute! She also gets up on all fours and rocks {she is so close to crawling}. She is becoming quite sassy {possibly from the teething}. She also just started to wave hi and bye! 

Likes:  {These still haven't really changed} Mommy, Daddy, Ziggy, talking, kicking, standing, giggling, smiling, tummy time {for a little while}, playing on her play mat, jumping her in jumperoo, exploring with mommy and daddy, her new teddy bear and traveling. 

Dislikes: She dislikes when she cannot see me or The Mr. 

Personality: Like I said before, she's becoming a bit sassy, but that just means she's learning different attitudes. She is still very mellow most of the time. 

Nicknames: Lenni Bear, Pretty girl, Pretty Princess, Lenni Loo. 

Until next time! 

Lennon {7 Months}

I'm almost caught up! Just one more post after this! I hope I can remember back to all of her little milestones and happenings.

Height: 26 inches

Weight: She was around 16 pounds. We went be back to the doctor until her 9 month check up so until then I am just guesstimating. 

Eating: We've tried a bunch of different foods now, but they have mostly been pureed. She has tried avocadoes, which she loves! 

Sleep: Lennon is still sleeping in our room in her Rock 'n Play. She seems to be growing out of this super quickly now so I'm sure it won't be too long until we need to transition her into her crib or a Pack 'n Play. 

Milestones: Lennon has now learned how to put her lips into the dreaded "duck lips". I do not know where she learned this, but I'm thinking it's because I kiss her so much. Haha. She also screamed "DADADADADA" out loud in the airport as we were waiting for our flight to Wisconsin. The Mr. made sure to get that on video. Why couldn't it have been "MAMAMAMAMA"? 

Likes:  {These still haven't really changed} Mommy, Daddy, Ziggy, talking, kicking, standing, giggling, smiling, tummy time {for a little while}, playing on her play mat, jumping her in jumperoo, exploring with mommy and daddy, her new teddy bear and traveling. 

Dislikes: She still dislikes pureed baby food and being spoonfed. She also dislikes being put into her carseat or if The Mr. or I leave the room. 

Personality: Lennon is such happy baby. We love how mellow she is and how interactive she is becoming. 

Nicknames: Lenni Bear, Pretty girl, Pretty Princess, Lenni Loo. 

Until next time! 

Lennon {6 Months}

Well, after a nice, long 2 month hiatus, I am back! I'm so sorry for not blogging, but life just seems to get in the way sometimes. Prepare to be inundated with month growth post for Lennon {because I am currently 3 months behind}. 

Height: 25.75 inches

Weight: She was at 14 lbs 12 oz. 

Eating: When Lennon turned 6 months we started her on food. The doctor recommended starting her on Oatmeal cereal {I was actually pretty against this, so I have no idea why I actually went along with it}, so that's what we started with. I gave it to her for one day and she had such bad gas; she just was not comfortable. I switched to organic rice cereal and that seemed to go much better. Then we started with sweet potatoes. I'm not gonna lie.. the girl does not like puree's. More on this in the next monthly post. 

Sleep: Lennon is still sleeping in our room in her Rock 'n Play. I just can't come to terms with the fact that she is growing up! 

Milestones: Lennon tasted her first real food! She sits up and continues to roll. She celebrated her first Thanksgiving. 

Likes:  {These haven't really changed} Mommy, Daddy, Ziggy, talking, kicking, standing, giggling, smiling, tummy time {for a little while}, playing on her play mat, jumping her in jumperoo, exploring with mommy and daddy, going to her swim lessons, and traveling. 

Dislikes: She dislikes pureed baby food. She also doesn't like to be spoon fed. 

Personality: Lennon is still very mellow, but she is starting to show some sassiness, especially when she is eating. 

Nicknames: Lenni Bear, Pretty girl, Pretty Princess, Lenni Loo. 

Until next time! 

17 New Mommy Must-Haves

For today's post I have compiled a list of our most used and most useful baby products {in not any particular order}. I hope that you find this list useful in your shopping adventures!

Fisher Price Rock 'N Play

We absolutely love this! Lennon has slept like a champ since day one in her Rock 'N Play! The one that I linked is the one that we have. The automatic rocking function was a dream when she was first born. I truly feel that it helped her sleep better, which meant more sleep for mommy! Major win! I also like the Jonathan Adler design, but they didn't have it when Lennon was born.

Boppy Newborn Lounger

We love all things Boppy in our house, but this particular product has been amazing. Lennon loves to just hang out and relax in this. She likes to watch the Packer games and Dancing with the Stars while sitting in her Lounger. I only used our Boppy Pillow very briefly in the hospital and at home when she was first born. I have a feeling that we'll be using it again soon to help her sit up. We also have the Boppy Noggin Nest head support pillow because Lennon was starting to develop a flat spot on the back of her head. This product has saved us from having to put her in a helmet.

4moms Infant Tub

Before I registered for baby items, I had heard some good things and some bad things about this tub, but I decided to see for myself. I absolutely LOVE it. It fit perfectly in our kitchen sink and now it fits perfectly in our tub. I had to move it because Lennon loves to kick and splash water everywhere. It was much easier to give her a bath in the sink because I could stand and not strain my back, but I still love it in the tub. I love that it tells you the temperature of the water, which allows me to not worry {which I tend to do}. It also cycles new water into the tub so that it's the same temperature for her entire bath. Amazing!

4moms Rockaroo

I also didn't hear very many good things about this product, but again decided to see for myself. Lennon didn't quite like it at the beginning, only because she preferred to be held over anything else. Now, however, she loves it! I don't put her in their very long, but she tolerates it much better.

Fisher Price Jumperoo

The Mr. and I did extensive research on jumpers and ultimately found that the Rainforest Jumperoo by Fisher Price was the most highly rated. Maybe the color scheme is not the greatest, but Lennon loves it. It keeps her attention and helps her to jump and march to gain muscle in her legs. I would highly recommend this to anyone!

Ikea Antilop 

I also have done extensive research on highchairs. This one would also come up in searches, but I wasn't quite sold. Then we were able to try it out and I was sold! Lennon fits perfectly in it and it is very well supported. Not only that, but it also is so incredibly easily cleaned that it makes life just a little bit easier. To dress it up, we got a cushion cover from YeahBabyGoods on Etsy.  Love.

Comotomo Silicone Bottle

This product is amazing. Lennon takes this bottle like a champ. We've tried numerous different bottles and this one is by far our favorite. They are a little bit pricier than the rest, but well worth the investment. I have nothing but good things to say about these.

Fawn Design Diaper Bag

Major heart eyes for this diaper bag. I didn't have it when I first had Lennon, in fact, I just recently got it. But let me tell you! It is amazing! The quality does not go unnoticed. It is faux leather and is very easily wiped down.

Wubbanub 

We love our Wubbanub's! I know that it is mostly baby's preference when it comes to pacifiers, but I sure am glad Lennon liked this one! We have two and they have been amazing. It is perfect for her because it is not easy to lose {she likes to throw them now}. She loves to play the the little stuffed animal and likes to look at the tag. Win!

Skip Hop Treetop Friends Tummy Time Mat

We got this as a gift from one of our friends and used it {and still use it} every day! It comes with a pillow to help prop baby up in the early months of tummy time and two toys to help encourage them to learn! Lennon absolutely loves to roll over to get the toys {she's not quite crawling yet}. This is an absolute must have.

Shea Moisture Raw Shea, Chamomile, and Argan Oil Baby

This stuff smells like a dream. I even went out and bought some adult shea moisture for myself because I like the smell so much. Another great thing is that it doesn't seem to bother Lennon's eyes at all {if it accidentally gets in them when I rinse her hair}. We use the shampoo and lotion every night and she smells so good after her baths.

Bright Starts Roaming Safari Walk-A-Bout Walker 

Lennon's doctor recommended that we not use a walker, but we had gotten this from our baby shower so we use it. I don't see anything wrong with using a walker as long as you are supervising your baby. Lennon seems to like being able to cruise around in this and it is definitely helping her legs to move in a walking motion. We'll see if it helps in the long run!

LILLEbaby Carrier

I did a lot of research in the carrier department {I do a lot of research, can you tell?} and found that this would be the carrier that would work best for us and boy was I right! This has amazing lumbar support and has 6 carrying positions. Lennon loves to be worn when I'm cooking {we are very careful and I do not wear her when I'm using the stove, only when baking}. She also loves to go hiking and for walks while in her carrier. I'm going to need to buy some more colors!

Baby K'tan 

We also have this baby carrier, which I found to be amazing when she was a newborn. I got an extra-small and it fit snug {which was perfect when she was little}. I really like how easy it is to use, but am going to need a larger size because Lennon has gotten too big for the size that I have now.

Britax B-Safe 35 Elite and City Mini GT

Back when I first found I was pregnant, I immediately started doing research on car seats and strollers {see, I'm a research freak}. I went through extensive lists on which car seats had the best safety ratings, comfort, etc and then we went a "test drove" them at Buy Buy Baby. We ultimately decided on this combination {with the help of this car seat adapter} to make a hybrid travel system. The City Mini GT is amazing. It has all terrain wheels that have an amazing turning radius and rides so smoothly. The Britax car seat is a bit on the heavy side, but you can tell it is incredibly sturdy. Now, we get to search for her next "big girl" car seat. I'm just not ready for her to be a "big girl" yet, so that will have to wait a bit.

Copper Pearl Nursing Cover and Baby Bandana Bibs

These should be on every new Mom's must have lists! The nursing cover is amazing and I use it every time I'm out in public and have to nurse. The bibs are amazing. Not only are they great to add some style to your baby's outfits, but they are the ultimate drool catcher. These products are super soft and pretty inexpensive. Bonus: the company posts their products to Amazon, so if you're an Amazon freak like me, you get 2 day shipping for free with a prime membership.

Aden and Anais Muslin Swaddles

Now Lennon never needed to be swaddled but this blankets are just so soft. We use them as a blanket in her car seat, as spit up blankets, and just blankets to snuggle with. Everyone just own at least one set of these.


Well, I hope this has helped you in finding some products that will work for you as well as they have worked for us! Have a great day and enjoy shopping!

Until next time!