Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The Rainbow {Part 1}

I've been feeling much more inspired lately and figured that I should probably write a post about Lennon's birth before I can no longer remember.

A few months ago I wrote a two-part story of "The Storm" and now I will write about our beautiful Rainbow. Because after all there is a Rainbow after every storm.

When we were cleared to try to conceive again, I went a little crazy. I wanted it so badly. I wanted a baby. I wanted what I wasn't able to have the year before. I wanted what so many of my friends were able to have. I wanted it so badly that it just wasn't happening. I was using apps to track my cycle and temping to see when I was ovulating. I was convinced that I no longer was ovulating so I kept going back to my doctor. My doctor had started to become more like therapy for me. She helped me more than anyone else was able to.

Then one day, I just stopped. I stopped charting. I stopped temping. I stopped all the madness and just let go. It seemed that I finally was getting over the traumatic experience that the entire year prior was in my life. I felt free of my grief for the first time in so long. That's when it happened.

The Mr. and I decided to get away. We went to our favorite city, San Diego, for a weekend and just had fun. We let loose and did whatever we wanted. I just knew. I know that sounds crazy, but I just knew we had conceived that weekend. I got this feeling that this was it. Then on our way home we drove through a storm and saw 5 rainbows. DROVE THROUGH A STORM AND SAW 5 RAINBOWS. If that's not a sign from above, then I don't know what is. The next weekend we went camping and on our way home we saw another rainbow. I didn't even need to take a test, in my gut, I knew. I knew before we even left San Diego.

We were pregnant.

Obviously I did take a test, just to confirm it for The Mr., and sure enough.. a very positive line staring us in the face. Due to our experience the past year, neither one of us allowed ourselves to get excited. We knew that anything could happen at anytime. I think we both tried not to get too attached to the idea that this could really happen, that we could end this pregnancy with a baby.

Through the next couple weeks we waited. We waited for appointments and ultrasounds and tests {we were able to have more of everything because of our past}. We waited to tell anyone. Then we saw it. The heart was beating. There was a baby. How amazing that moment was. I knew that the hard part was not over, but I knew that was our baby.

The months went by, my belly got bigger, but I was still cautiously trying not to get my hopes up. Even though I felt her kicking and moving all around in my belly, I tried not to get too attached. Yes, I was excited, but it was hard to think past the current day I was in. "Today I am pregnant" was my mantra throughout the entire pregnancy.

Once we got to the end of the pregnancy, things became a little more difficult. Doctor's visits became more frequent and my blood pressure started elevating. It was the end of the school year and I was stressed. Not only because I'm a teacher, but because I was aching and not sleeping. My blood pressure got so high one visit that my doctor sent me to the hospital to be monitored for Pre-eclampsia. Thank goodness all of the tests were negative and they sent me on my way. Unfortunately, my blood pressure was still all over the charts. Some days it was normal, some days it was high.

They continued to monitor me through the rest of my pregnancy. I made it to my due date and I went to my 40 week check up. All looked well, but I was not dilated at all. My blood pressure was amazingly in the normal range. I was in and out of my appointment in the blink of an eye and they scheduled me for another appointment that Friday.

Fast forward 4 days later and I went to {what happened to be to my last} appointment. Well.. wouldn't you know, my blood pressure was through the roof. They scheduled another appointment for the following Tuesday {if I didn't go into labor naturally before then} and back to the hospital I went for them to monitor my blood pressure... again. Guess what, blood pressure was normal as soon as they started checking it. I was off the hook for another couple days, so my mom and I went shopping. I bought a diaper bag from Kate Spade, because Kate Spade, duh, plus I only had two and that was not near enough. Well...

Until next time!

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